party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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