used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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