I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
