Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
