Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
