She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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