And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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