i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
