He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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