Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
