did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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