whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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