I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
