I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
