Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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