she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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