In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
