my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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