wat bout pragnant strippers??
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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