Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
