Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize