pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is the high leading the old right now
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
