hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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