I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
