Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
