there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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