I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm just crazy horny about you
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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