found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
