Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
