Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
