im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
