Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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