She said her name was "party"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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