Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He shit in the fireplace
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
