His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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