brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
