so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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