im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
