What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
