I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
