Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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