Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
