i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
