Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
