Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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