i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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