dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
