the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
