I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
