She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
