i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
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