Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
