What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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