help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
