I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
