can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
