I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
