she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize