you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize